The Slut and Spiritual Sexuality
by Robert G. Benson


Those of us who advocate BDSM and alternative sexual lifestyles are struggling to free ourselves from a very deeply embedded "cultural poisoning" regarding sexuality. Or perhaps you think you are already free? It may not be as easy as you think...

There are women today who are actively discussing their role as sexual beings. The web E-zine "Yoni" is one such site (and is well worth visiting). Here women are coming to terms with being sexual creatures (as well as the meaning and actualization of their other roles). "The Slut Manifesto" by Lizzard Amazon (available on the Yoni site) discusses how she has come to terms with being a slut, and her essay spends a great deal of space talking about the social difficulties (especially approbation) she has had to face and overcome.

Note that she is not saying she is a prostitute making money through sex, merely that she readily and eagerly engages in sex for her emotional satisfaction and recreation, and thus she is commonly perceived to be a slut. Rather than trying to hide the fact that she is a slut, she now revels in it. She also has some good words of advice for "closet sluts" and "wannabe sluts" which I have excerpted (and also "translated" into advice for slut-slaves).

In thinking about these issues and sluttery I decided that it could be said there are basically three different kinds of sluts. There is the economic slut who prostitutes herself for money, valuable gifts, life advancement, or power over others. There is the lifestyle slut who openly fucks others for pleasure and as a form of socializing. And finally, there is the spiritual slut who fucks others through compassion for them or through the desire to submerge herself in her sexuality. Of course, this typology is crude. All sluts (women, too) to one degree or another share some of the characteristics of these three types.

For most women to advocate being a slut they either have to rely on the economic benefits of prostitution and their right to make a good living by selling their bodies (the "free market" economic argument), or they have to turn to a "higher" justification -- that of transcendent, sexual spirituality. There have been a number of essays and articles written on the history and role of the "sacred slut" (aka "temple prostitute") to help in understanding this type of sexual-spiritual behavior. "The Original Whore with the Heart of Gold" is one such essay. However, just out and out social fucking seems to not to get much approval.

Of course, the DS lifestyle does not necessarily incorporate or lead to transcendent (or spiritual) sexuality. However, throughout the ages there have been cultures and times which have included transcendent sexuality, although it wasn't necessarily a goal for everyone. Perhaps this idea could be reborn today. I believe the DS Lifestyle is an excellent vehicle for the search for sexual transcendence, and in my essay "How to Make a Sacred Slut" I highlight what I believe to be the most important characteristics of a slave-sacred slut, her relationship with her Master and other males, and how a sacred slut might be made in today's world. A number of people are advocating these and similar ideas today. Annie Sprinkle, the well-known ex-prostitute, sexual performer and sex teacher has a web site (go to Annie Sprinkle's Web Page) where she sells a video explaining how to achieve this, and she also conducts seminars on this and related topics.

However, when you really think about it, this reliance on the justification of spiritual sexuality is not truly necessary. We can learn a great deal by studying how man compares to our relatives in the animal realm. The two closest animals to man behaviorably-speaking are the chimpanzee and the bonobo. The chimp is commonly known, but the bonobo (another African ape) is not. The bonobo has the unusual distinction of being undoubtedly the most sexually promiscuous higher animal in the entire animal kingdom. They engage in sex several times a day with a wide range of partners. The females' external genitalia are large and colored a rosy red in a continual display of invitation. Sex is commonly used as a means of casual greeting, and even incest appears to be a normal and widespread sexual activity. Perhaps not surprisingly, all this good sex is very beneficial for them, because the bonobo is a remarkably happy and peaceful species -- unlike the chimp.

Chimpanzees also use sex in rather surprising ways, some remarkably human. For example, dominant males will withhold treats from females until they submit sexually. However, if you thought that only males employed "sexual tricks" you would be wrong, for females have their own variety of tricks, too. Female promiscuity, in fact, has a very important role in their culture. It has been found that female chimps will secretly sneak away and have sex with other, "unauthorized" males. This is not just an occasional occurrence, because genetic studies of chimp populations in the wild have shown that a very large percentage of all babies were in fact fathered in this way.

Thus, it seems to me that human female promiscuity is far more natural and desirable than our society is prepared to accept. It undoubtedly fills some important social roles as well as provides important individual growth experiences for some women. In fact, probably a very significant percentage of the female population is programmed (genetically or behaviorally) to be sluts, and becomming sluts is thus actually assisting in working towards their natural destiny. Yet this is too foreign a concept for our society to accept now, much less encourage this awakening among our female population.

Searching for transcendent value in sex is perhaps one way to get there. There is transcendence which can be reached through sex. It is there, and it can be found -- but, as I have shown above, it is not the only justification for being a slut. Simply put, whether or not a woman is willing to admit she is (and naturally act as) a slut is entirely dependent on how free she is from the cultural poisoning I mentioned earlier.

< p>Now I ask you to think again --

If you are a man, can you call a woman a slut without having thoughts of derision, disrespect, or denigration enter your mind whether or not you actually intended an insult?

If you are a woman, can you call yourself a slut without at the back of your mind feeling you have cheapened or insulted yourself in comparison with other women -- or your mother?

Perhaps a more significant test would be something like this. Could you image introducing yourself like this --

"Hi there! My name is Eve. I'm a lifestyle slut and enjoy casual fucking. I'd really like a good fuck sometime with you if you're interested. I do practice safe sex, though. OK?"

If you could feel comfortable doing this, then I would say you were cured of the cultural poison of fearing being called a slut, but I suspect that very few of us, even the "sexually-free" ones, actually can. I think this is indeed why women are relying on the crutch of spiritual sexuality. Really, it does not alter the reality of being a slut, but it might make it easier to be one.

*see Advice to the Slut" for some rules to the slave-slut

[Copyright © 1997 by Robert G. Benson]


back button