Date: Sat Jan 29 20:00:20 2000
Subject: DOMS responsibilities
notes)These letters are/were written for an bdsm e group I was involved
with once hated to throw em out hope ya get
some use out of them...S.S.C
I will attempt to answer these questions point by point in MY humble opinion.
Do you feel that you have limits?
Yes, I have VERY clearly defined limits from a moral (or immoral as it
may be~WEG~) stand point.I have decided for Myself My limits
are a matter of personal choice and I have defined negotiable and non
- negotiable limits in My relationships.
Do you feel it is a responsibility to explain your own limits to your
submissive and why?
Again I must say yes of course IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY to convey My limits
to My sub I like the BD/SM partner checklist by the castle realm group
to help in that respect.It is a clear cut questionnaire with a list of
BD/SM related topics and subjects i.e. abrasion,flogging ,breast torture
etc. with likes/dislikes and a experience rating scale.If I choose NOT
to tell My submissives My limits Wwho does? Communication open honest
clear cut concise thats the key here an exchange of information an exchange
of power from Top to bottom and vice versa
Do you feel that it is a submissives responsibility to explain her
limits to you (not just tell you what they are)?
Yes, I believe it is her responsibility and the corner stone of all relationships
VT and RT is open honest communication.I believe it also helps to know
why. I have a needle phobia due to past life experiences........(personal
reasons I am happy to discuss if anyone wants to know and many do already)I
believe that it helps Me and her both to know where our collective heads
are and where they have been.
When taking a sub v/t do you discuss limits and practice handling limits
as you would in a r/t environment? Why?
Yes I do because I see VT as a stepping stone if I don't practice safe
sane consensual play here how may others learn? I actually believe many
in vt blunder by taking "supposed" knowledge learned here out into the
world thinking many here have a clue of RT BD/SM when its obvious many
dont....I have seen behavior in VT that would earn you a quick trip out
of any play party on your ass... and many here accept it as "normal" this
includes commenting on scenes in progress (loudly and disrespectfully)
approaching and touching others collared submissives just to name a few.....
unsafe non consensual play are all witnessed in the VT world> so I try
and maintain an aire of reality in ALL I do so that O/others may learn
I am in hopes some will read this and appreciate it for what it is My
own (KNOT SO HUMBLE )opinion I am not the be all end all of BD/SM/DS nor
do I even laughingly want to be. I know what has and what continues to
work for Me that's all..........