D/s lessons I have learned. `The Greatest gift'
By Sir Magic "the Darkangel"
Copyright © 1998, -all rights reserved-
E-Mail: SirMagic@darkangel.com


There are many precious things one can have the privilege of possessing. Some would equate this statement with Diamonds, gold or rare art. In their own way perhaps the are of value. For men have fought wars to possess more of them, women have traded their bodies to wear them.

Humbly as my spirit has walked down through the ages of time, I have come to learn many things, the foremost of these lessons has been: "I still have much to learn." The second most important thing is this:

" The most precious gift one can possess is LOVE."

The human universe like the larger one, has many worlds and in the world of D/s there is no greater love than that of the collard sub. I can only rightfully speak of Dom. Male sub female relationships, for it is what I rightly know. This being true, come walk my path and share in the lessons I have learned.

I do not pretend to be the authority on D/s, for in my view no one can be. It is as individual as each and every person who chooses to walk this path. So if I should speak with certainty understand, these are my views and experiences.

Ones Domination style is sum total of who we are. It is the accumulation of our hopes, dreams, fears and life experiences. If we are ruled by anger or insecurity then who we are as a Dom. will reflect it. So often I have cringed at those who fall into this category for they never seem to totally grasp what is the center concept of what defines who I am as a Lifestyle Dom.

Ones submission to another is a gift. Be you man or woman, pleasure slave or masochist the gift same. When a sub submits she is offering up her collective soul to you to take, hold, possess, control and most importantly. cherish. Abstractly speaking, mixed in with this gift is her life force, the raw essence from which heart and soul are derived. All this is being willingly offered up to you of their own freewill. These collective dynamics is what makes the act of collaring so powerfully emotional for many subs. As a Dom. once you accept such a gift it binds you to that person in ways few truly understand and because of this lack of understanding, too many people get hurt.

Collard subs are NOT trophies !
When you collar a sub, not only are they making a commitment to you, the Dom. but you (the Dom.) are making a commitment to them as well. You are promising to be the guardian of their heart and soul. The caretaker of their love, devotion and sense of being. You now define their universe, sense of self and the purpose of being. In short you are now responsible for them in ways which are not part of a `vanilla' relationship.

With the last statement in mind, it begs the question:
"Who is the Master and who then is the slave ?" The answer I venture, is simple:
She is my slave, I posses her body, soul, mind, heart and being. Just as she possesses my heart in return. I am Dom., she is sub, she is Dom. I am sub, we are one.

We are forever revolving within that which balances us like "Ying" and "Yang" and makes us whole. "Even though we are Dominant, when we come to love our sub with our truest of heart, whether we want to admit it or not, this is an act of submission. For in that moment we surrendered ourselves to them as surely as she/he has to us."

This is why "collaring" should be done with the greatest of care. For it opens a door way to the deepest levels of submission, love and the human bonding. Often in our "passion" for a new D/s relationship we sometimes move faster than we should. In the end we run the risk of collaring someone who ultimately is not best suited for us. This mistake, I have made and in the end I hurt the person deeply when it didn't work out. Since this time I have not collard another submissive. For it was this experience which made me rethink the how's and why of how I Dom.

I firmly believe, "just because someone is a sub doesn't mean they are stupid." I personally like intelligent, competent, capable and submissive women. I get turned on by a sub who has a brain and can use it. If I give my sub a business task to handle, then that's it. I will not micro-manage, all I care about is.. is it done. I don't want to really hear about how she handled it. I trusted her enough to say "here handle this", therefore I'm not going to second guess a subs method of accomplishing the task.. If I have to, then I can't trust her and I wont have a sub I can't trust. If you are my sub, then I require you to work to better yourself, my world and image. If this be the case, then I must respect and honor not only your gift of devotion, intelligence and love but your talents as well. This is where I feel many Dominants fail. A true Dominant shows respect and appreciation for who and what his/her submissive is capable of.

So many of us who would rule, do so from a torment soul. Those Dominants who's spirits are ruled by anger and insecurity easily get caught up in Ego based control traps. "I am in control, because I dominate you. Therefore I must be someone, because I am in control. " Once this happens you are well on your way to being a control freak, not a Dom.

As a Dominant "my power comes from within", not because I have a sub on the end of a leash. Everyday I work to Master myself first. Through this act I can naturally, with NO effort, Master others.

In D/s we seek to satisfy our hungers, our callings whatever they maybe. We all are driven by them, be them submissive, Dominant or masochistic. Through this venting of our psyche we are meant to grow, love, learn and share.

But even in D/s happiness can be fleeting or just around the corner. I have often said:
" Life gives you the test first, and if you survive, then chance to learn the lesson afterward."
If this be the case then, this is but just a small part of the..

" D/s Lessons I have learned"...

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