Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List
by Tammad Rimilia

This checklist should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.

For each item, you need to provide two answers:

* For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.

* For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

o "?" means you don't understand what the item is attempting to describe.
o NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).
o 0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").
o 1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.
o 2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.
o 3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.
o 4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
o 5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

* Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

* Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the margin to the right. For example under diapers you might wish to distinguish between "wetting" and "soiling".

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity.

Type of BDSM Activity	Experience yes/no	Willingness NO or 0-5	Notes & Nuances
1. Abrasion 2. Age play 3. Anal sex 4. Anal plugs (small) 5. Anal plugs (large) 6. Anal plug (public, under clothes) 7. Animal roles 8. Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) 9. Aromas 10. Asphyxiation 11. Auctioned for charity 12. Ball stretching 13. Bathroom use control 14. Beastiality 15. Beating (soft) 16. Beating (hard) 17. Blindfolds 18. Being serviced (sexual) 19. Being bitten< /font> 20. Breast/chest bondage 21. Breath control 22. Branding 23. Boot worship 24. Bondage (light) 25. Bondage (heavy) 26. Bondage (multi-day) 27. Bondage (public, under clothing) : 28. Breast whipping 29. Brown showers (scat) 30. Cages (locked inside of) 31. Caning 32. Castration fantasy 33. Catheterization 34. Cattle prod (electrical toy) 35. Cells/Closets (locked inside of) 36. Chains 37. Chamber-pot use 38. Chastity belts 39. Chauffeuring 40. Choking 41. Chores (domestic service) 42. Clothespins 43. Cock rings/straps 44. Cock worship 45. Collars (worn in private) 46. Collars (worn in public) 47. Competitions (with other Subs) 48. Corsets (wearing casually) 49. Corsets (trained waist reduction) 50. Cuffs (leather) 51. Cuffs (metal) 52. Cutting 53. Diapers (wearing) 54. Diapers (wetting) 55. Diapers (soiling) 56. Dilation 57. Dildoes 58. Double penetration 59. Electricity 60. Enemas (for cleansing) 61. Eenmas (retention/punishment) 62. Enforced chastity 63. Erotic dance (for audience) 64. Examinations (physical) 65. Exercise (forced/required) 66. Exhibitionism (friends) 67. Exhibitionism (strangers) 68. Eye contact restrictions 69. Face slapping 70. Fantasy abandonment 71. Fantasy rape 72. Fantasy gang-rape 73. Fear (being scared) 74. Fisting (anal) 75. Fisting (vaginal) 76. Flame play 77. Following orders 78. Foot worship 79. Forced bedwetting 80. Forced dressing 81. Forced eating 82. Forced homosexuality 83. Forced heterosexuality 84. Forced masturbation 85. Forced nudity (private) 86. Forced nudity (around others) 87. Forced servitude 88. Forced smoking 89. Full head hoods 90. Gags (cloth) 91. Gags (inflatible) 92. Gags (phallic) 93. Gags (rubber) 94. Gags (tape) 95. Gas masks 96. Gates of Hell (male) 97. Genital sex 98. Given away to another Dom (temp) 99. Given away to another Dom (perm) 100. Golden showers 101. Gun play 102. Hairbrush spankings 103. Hair pulling 104. Hand jobs (giving) 105. Hand jobs (receiving) 106. Harems (serving w/other subs) 107. Harnessing (leather) 108. Harnessing (rope) 109. Having food chosen for you 110. Having clothing chosen for you 111. Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) 112. Head (rcv fellatio/cunnilingus) 113. High heel wearing 114. High heel worship 115. Homage with tongue (non-sexual) 116. Hoods 117. Hot oils (on genitals) 118. Hot waxing 119. Housework (doing) 120. Human puppy dog 121. Humiliation (private) 122. Humiliation (public) 123. Hypnotism 124. Ice cubes 125. Immobilization 126. Infantilism 127. Initiation rites 128. Injections 129. Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage 130. Interrogations 131. Kidnapping 132. Kneeling 133. Knife play 134. Leather clothing 135. Leather restraints 136. Lectures for misbehavior 137. Licking (non-sexual) 138. Lingerie (wearing) 139. Manacles & Irons 140. Manicures (giving) 141. Massage (giving) 142. Massage (receiving) 143. Medical scenes 144. Modeling for erotic photos 145. Mouth bits 146. Mummification 147. Name change (for scene) 148. Name change (legal, permanant) 149. Nipple clamps 150. Nipple rings (piercings) 151. Nipple weights 152. Oral/anal play (rimming) 153. Over-the-knee spanking 154. Orgasm denial 155. Orgasm control 156. Outdoor scenes 157. Outdoor sex 158. Pain (severe) 159. Pain (mild) 160. Persona training (in scene) 161. Personality modification (RL) 162. Phone sex (serving Dom) 163. Phone sex (serving Dom's friends) 164. Phone sex (commercial provider) 165. Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) 166. Piercing (permanent) 167. Plastic surgery 168. Prison scenes 169. Prostitution (public pretense) 170. Prostitution (actual) 171. Pony slave 172. Public exposure 173. Punishment Scene 174. Pussy/cock whipping 175. Pussy worship 176. Riding crops 177. Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.) 178. Rituals 179. Religious scenes 180. Restrictive rules on behavior 181. Rubber/latex clothing 182. Rope body harness 183. Saran wrapping 184. Scarification 185. Scratching - getting 186. Scratching - giving 187. Sensory deprivation 188. Serving 189. Serving as art 190. Serving as ashtray 191. Serving as furniture 192. Serving as a maid 193. Serving as toilet (urine) 194. Serving as toilet (feces) 195. Serving as waitress/ waiter 196. Serving orally (sexual) 197. Serving other doms (supervised) 198. Serving other doms (unsupervised) 199. Sexual deprivation (short term) 200. Sexual deprivation (long term) 201. Shaving (body hair) 202. Shaving (head hair) 203. Skinny-dipping 204. Sleep deprivation 205. Sleepsacks 206. Slutty clothing (private) 207. Slutty clothing (public) 208. Spandex clothing 209. Spanking 210. Speech restrictions (when, what) 211. Speculums (Anal) 212. Speculums (vaginal) 213. Spitting 214. Spreader bars 215. Standing in corner 216. Stocks 217. Straight jackets 218. Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) 219. Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) 220. Strap-on-dildos (wearing) 221. Strapping (full body beating) 222. Suspension (upright) 223. Suspension (inverted) 224. Suspension (horizontal) 225. Supplying new partners for Dom 226. Swallowing feces 227. Swallowing semen 228. Swallowing urine 229. Swapping (with one other couple) 230. Swinging (multiple couples) 231. Tampon Training (in ass) 232. Tattooing 233. Teasing 234. TENS Unit (electrical toy) 235. Thumbcuffs (metal) 236. Tickling 237. Triple penetration 238. Urethral Sounds (metal rods) 239. Uniforms 240. Including others 241. Vaginal dildo 242. Verbal humiliation 243. Vibrator on genitals 244. Violet Wand (electricial toy) 245. Voyeurism (watching others) 246. Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) 247. Video (watching others) 248. Video (recordings of you) 249. Water torture 250. Waxing (hair removal) 251. Wearing symbolic jewelery 252. Weight gain (forced) 253. Weight loss (forced) 254. Whipping 255. Wooden paddles 256. Wrestling	Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No Yes/No

Willingness quick-key:

? Don't understand this item.
* I will do with current sex partner only.
NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).
0 No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit).
1 Don't want to do, but will.
2 Willing to do, but has no special appeal.
3 Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.
4 LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.
5 WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.

I started with a much smaller checklist which I found at the marvelous SFPSE site http://weber.u.washington.edu/~sfpse/ftpsite.html at The University of Washington, specifically ftp://ftp.u.washington.edu/public/sfpse/bdsm/checklst , and then expanded. I hope you find this enlarged version useful. I'm delighted that SFPSE has accepted back my contribution of my enlarged version, so this is now the "standard" one. A little detective-work turned up that the original checklist was written by "JillM"; I am indebted to her for originating this useful resource.

A special thanks to those people who have written to suggest something I hadn't thought of; the checklist is better for their contributions! Most prefer to remain anonymous, but I'd like to acknowledge Mistress Kim from Iron Rose, and Lee.

I have placed this document into the public domain, distribution unlimited. Please feel free to share it with friends, mailing lists, etc. The master copy can be found at http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/ in the over21 section. Select "bondage" followed by "bondage how-to".

Tammad@ms.ha.md.us

Related Sites:

The Deviant's Dictionary
http://www.queernet.org/deviant/

The Bondage/Dominace/Sadism/Masochism Purity Test
http://www.lungfish.com/friday/bdsm_purity.html

The 200 Question BDSM Purity Test (includes cyber)
http://www.teleport.com/~wynter/bdsmpt.html